Understanding Yourself
Understanding My Child's Journey
When a child comes out as LGBTQIA+ or begins questioning their gender or sexuality, it can bring up many emotions at once. You might feel surprised, confused, relieved, proud, worried, or unsure what to say. All of these feelings are normal. What matters most is that your child trusted you enough to share something important about who they are. They are still the same person you have always known and loved. This is simply a part of them becoming more themselves.
You do not need to have all the answers straight away. What your child needs most is to know that you care, that you are listening, and that you want to understand.
What it means if your child is questioning
Some young people know their identity clearly. Others take time to explore. Questioning does not mean your child is confused or being influenced. It means they are paying attention to their feelings and trying to understand themselves better.
Questioning can look like:
- trying out different names or pronouns
- exploring clothing or expression
- talking more about identity
- saying they feel unsure or in between
- wanting to learn from other LGBTQIA+ people
This is a healthy part of growing up. Your child is not doing anything wrong. They are not rushing. They are not making a permanent decision. They are simply exploring who they are, and they need space and support to do that safely.
How to support without overwhelming
Support does not mean fixing everything or knowing exactly what to do. It means creating a safe, steady space where your child feels seen and respected.
You can support by:
- listening without interrupting
- asking gentle, open questions
- letting them set the pace
- using the name or pronouns they ask for
- showing interest without pushing
- reminding them that they are loved
You do not need to ask for every detail or make big decisions immediately. Small, consistent acts of acceptance make the biggest difference.
It is also okay to take time to process your own feelings. You can seek support from other parents, trusted friends, or organisations like FFLAG. Looking after yourself helps you look after your child.
Local support for parents and carers in Gloucestershire
Queer Futures Glos Parent Meet Up
A monthly meet-up for parents and carers of LGBTQIA+ young people. It is a gentle, welcoming space where you can talk to other parents, ask questions, share worries, and learn more about how to support your child. You do not need to have everything figured out. You can come quietly or take part in a conversation. Click here for more info.
The Arcus Project (Young Gloucestershire)
One-to-one support for parents, carers, and families where a child is transgender or exploring their gender identity. The Arcus Project offers therapeutic mentoring, advocacy, well-being support, and help with referrals to other services. They aim to build your confidence and knowledge so you can support your child safely and calmly.
Gloucestershire
https://www.youngglos.org.uk/what-we-do/family-support/family_gender_support/
Identity Space
A Gloucestershire-based LGBTQIA+ counselling and mentoring service offering support with gender identity exploration, sexuality, relationship diversity, and emotional wellbeing. They offer sliding scale fees to make support more accessible.
​
National support for parents
FFLAG
A national charity run by parents of LGBTQIA+ people. FFLAG offers online support groups, one to one support by email or phone, and a wide range of resources for families. Their focus is on helping parents understand, accept, and support their LGBTQIA+ children with love and pride.